I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
