I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
