her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
