Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Panties = found
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
