I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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