Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
