he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
