I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
