Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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