People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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