so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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