do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
