I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
