He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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