if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dick very happy bro
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
