Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My breasts were aching with rage.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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