Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
