quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
