at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
