She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
