Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
