The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
