In the future we'll all be gay
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
