so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You smell like stripper and shame
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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