No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
