haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
