just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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