I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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