is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
