he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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