Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
