I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
