He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
