Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
