Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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