There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so let's talk penis.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
