I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
