We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
