OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your penis caused this!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
