I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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