I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
