I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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