People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
