That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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