i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
