drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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