I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
