Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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