Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
