Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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