Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
