I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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